Bella's Diary
by TwiCharmed
Summary: Just a little rock to get you through the day. One hit won't hurt you...Updated in real time. Not really...
1. January 17, 2005

_**A/N:**_ _**This is a Twilight parody and pokes fun at many of the canon elements in the story. My goal is to follow the book closely with the assistance of the timeline from the Twilight Lexicon website. Read at your own risk...**_

**_Disclaimer: I am one of SMeyer's alternate personalities..._**

* * *

1/17/05 – 8:05pm

Dear Diary,

Charlie (my dad) got me this thing to keep track of my thoughts he says. He said his shrink told him it was a good idea. I don't know…Renee (my hair-brained mom) told me to never trust a man in therapy. But it's a pretty diary and I don't have any friends, so I guess I will try it out…

Tomorrow is my first day at Forks High. I am so nervous, Diary! I hope there are some cute boys! I am going to try not to be so boy crazy at this school. I really want to get good grades here. I hate that I am 18 in the 11th grade. So I am going to concentrate on my schoolwork and not daydreaming about boys.

Oh, I gotta go diary, Charlie just asked me to fix him a sandwich so he can eat it while he watch the game and drink his rainier beer…I'll write in you tomorrow!


	2. January 18, 2005

1/18/05 – 4:15pm

Dear Diary,

So today was my first day of school. It was sooooo awesome. I think I made a couple of friends. One girl was nice but she talked a lot and another girl was kinda quiet with glasses. There were some CUTE looking boys too! None of them really looked at me but tomorrow I'm gonna where my hair down. The only bad thing was the school really was like so small! Like there were only like 25 people total!

But now let me tell you the awesome part, I sat next to the CUTEST boy in my science class! I was so excited when I walked in and it was only one seat left! He is tall and sort of beautiful. No, my mistake. THIS one is like greek god gorgeous! He has these dark intense black eyes and wild hair. Diary, I love bad boys and this boy looks sooooo dangerous! I absolutely cannot wait to get back to school tomorrow to see him!

Alright I gotta go. I am going to cook dinner for Charlie and try and do some homework, but I need to get in the bed early tonight. I want to get up early and take a shower before school. I can't believe I have been so busy with the move and everything that I haven't had time to take a shower since I moved here last week! I was a little embarrassed in class because Edward (the cute boy I was just talking about) plugged his nose when I sat down. So tomorrow I am going to wash my hair with my strawberry scented shampoo!

I wonder what I should fix Charlie for dinner…Alright, see you tomorrow Diary!


	3. January 19, 2005

1/19/05 – 4:00pm

Dear Diary,

Well today was not great. Edward (the guy I was totally in love with yesterday) was not in school. I don't know where he was. His family was there so I asked one on his brothers (who is sooooo hot) but he just looked at me real weird and one of the sisters pulled him away from me. She said he was sick or something. It was funny seeing such a tiny girl forcing a boy down the hall. She looked like some sort of black-haired Tinkerbell or something.

Anyway, so it sucked that Edward wasn't at school but at least I did get to flirt with another boy in gym today! This boy named Mike is so cute! And he is so popular too! He is in my gym class so when we were playing volleyball, I hit the ball to purposely hit him in the back of the head. Then I ran over to him and was all like "I am so sorry!". I did it just to have an excuse to talk to him and it totally worked! At first he looked real pissed but then I told him how clumsy I was and how I was never good at sports. He was like "no problem" then he smiled at me!

The bad part is that now this girl Jessica is being a total bitch to me now. She saw me flirting with Mike. I had forgotten that she told me yesterday that she liked him. Well actually I didn't forget, I mean I thought she had went in the locker room and wouldn't see. But damn, it wasn't like I was frenching him in the middle of gym!

Anyway, I gotta go and fix Charlie some dinner and try and do some homework. I will write more tomorrow!


	4. January 21, 2005

1/21/05 - 4pm

Dear Diary,

Well I just got through my first week at Forks High. It was ok. I am just so sad that Edward never came back to school. I don't think he moved or anything, his siblings are still there.

I was going to ask the other brother about him today but his blonde girlfriend/sister was shooting major daggers at me! I'm scared of that bitch! She looks like she could tear me limb from limb! Maybe it was because I spent the whole lunch hour staring at her boyfriend/brother. I couldn't help it, he is sooooo HOT! He is big and muscular and sexy like a mofo! And he was looking at me too. She should be mad at him and not me. Whatever...

So anyway, I think me and Jessica are going to be best friends! She is so cool! I love her hair and she has the best clothes too. Angela is ok but she never likes to gossip with me and Jess. Jess also has the cutest car! It is little and just fits her you know. I forgot to tell you, Diary that Charlie got me a truck. But not a good truck! It is HORRIBLE. Its so big and so embarrassing.

Anyway, Jess asked me to come over her house this weekend but I can't go because I have to make dinner for Charlie. Hopefully he will go fishing so I can go!

So another thing I wanted to write about today is my mom. I think I should call her. I mean, I can't be mad at her forever, but she really pissed me off forcing me to move here! I mean, I know I should have been doing better in school and not failing every class but I feel like she just wanted to get rid of me to spend time with her new husband. I mean, dang! I'm her daughter and she totally choose him over me! Whatever, I'm over it because I'm having so much fun here. So I guess I will call her.

Gotta go! Oh, what should I cook for Charlie tonight?


	5. January 24, 2005

1/24/05 - 3:15pm

Dear Diary,

Omg, omg, omg! He came back! Omg, Edward came back and I totally LOVE him! He is so amazing! He was just sitting in class when I got there and I like seriously almost DIED. He is soooo HOT. Its weird because his eyes were like a totally different color today so I don't know if he wears contact of what. I think I like them better dark.

Oh and I totally think he likes me too! Mr Banner (my science teacher) made us do this assignment that was completely over my head. And he was such a dick about it because he told Edward to make sure I do my share of the work. Ugh. But anyway, Edward could tell that I didn't know what the hell was going on so he did the whole assignment and told Mr Banner that i was the one who did it!

So, he was also asking me a bunch of questions. Like why did I move, did i like it here and all that. He seemed to be really interested...I hope so, Diary!

Oh and one more thing! Now that Edward was showing some interest, Mike was totally looking at me different! You know how boys are, they only get interested after they see another guy is liking you. Omg, I'm going to be soooo popular! Whoot!

Alright, gotta go make Charlie's dinner...


	6. January 25, 2005

1-25-05 9:15pm

Dear Diary,

Omg, Diary I like totally almost died today! Like DEAD! I'm not even kidding. There was this huge wreck at school and I was right in the middle of it!

Ok, let me slow down and explain what happened. So I was standing in the parking lot at school looking real cute. My hair was in a side ponytail and I had on my tight blue sweater and black skinny jeans. Oh, one thing I hate about Forks is always having to wear a coat! It totally ruins my outfit!

Anyway, so I was standing there acting like I wasn't paying attention to Edward and all of a sudden I see everyone was looking at the other end of the parking lot. I turned around and saw Tyler's van coming right at me! Like straight at me! I didn't even know what to do. It was like I was paralyzed or something because I couldn't move a muscle.

Then the next thing I knew, Edward was on top of me and was holding me with one arm and holding Tyler's van back with the other hand. His hand! He stopped Tyler's van with his HAND! I was like WTF?! Well really I didn't do or say anything because I was still speechless and motionless (I seriously need to learn how to react to stuff). When I finally found my voice and was about to ask him wtf, he took off and everyone was surrounding me to see how I was. I loved being the center of attention but I couldn't stop thinking about where Edward had run off to.

So then I was taken to the hospital just to get checked out. The doctor who treated me was Edward's adoptive father! And omg this guy was drop dead gorgeous! How can a family be so beautiful? Like ALL of them! I bet the doc's wife is a knockout. I bet they require the kids they adopt to be beautiful. There must be some sort of pale people pageant that they choose them from...

So anyway, here I am with Edward's "dad" and Tyler was in there and everyone was fussing over me which is something I normally would love, but I couldn't stop thinking about how Edward had been able to save me. He was clearly all the way across the parking lot and then he literally stopped the van from hitting me with his hand. And where the hell did he run off to?!

After they released me to go home I ran into Edward in the hospital. He was talking to his "dad" and the blonde bitch (my new name for his sister Rosalie). I asked him how he had gotten to me so fast. He was acting all non-nonchalant like he didn't know what I was talking about! Like it was no big deal! I was getting really mad and then his "sister" kept glaring at us. That bitch is really starting to get on my nerves. I don't know what the hell is her problem. Maybe she wants Edward too. Oh shit, maybe all the adopted siblings do some sort of family group thing! Ew. Ok, I need to calm down...

Anyway, I told Edward I didn't appreciate him lying to me and I wanted him to tell me the truth. He kept repeating that he was standing right next to me. I swear if he ever says that again I will freaking scream. I hate that he was making me feel like I was crazy. Because there were a couple minutes there where I did question if I hit my head too hard. I was pissed so I asked him why he even bothered to save me in the first place. Then he got this look on his face like he was asking himself the same thing and then walked away! UGH! He is so frustrating!

But I know I must mean _something_ to him or he wouldn't have saved me. Right? So I came up with a plan. Operation: Get Edward Cullen to Love Me. I'm gonna start tomorrow. I'm so excited, Diary!

Well I am going to bed now. Charlie made me sit downstairs with him all day to make sure I was okay. At least the accident got me out of cooking dinner tonight!


	7. January 26, 2005

1/26/05 - 3:40 pm

Dear Diary,

I think my aura or sixth sense or something is off. Now is the time when I could really use Renee, she would know this stuff. Ok, let me explain. Last night I dreamed of Edward Cullen. I totally woke up thinking the stars were aligning for our whirlwind romance. I mean why else would I be dreaming about him?

So I got up and was all super happy to get to school for the first day of Operation: Make Edward Cullen Love Me plan (GEC for short). Well let me just tell you. It was a horrible first day. Edward didn't speak to me at all! Not at all! He was totally avoiding and ignoring me! I don't know what to do. I'm so depressed!

Anyway, the upside is that after my near death experience, I am totally the most popular girl in the school! The boys are all over me and the girls just want to be seen with me! The only one that isn't falling over me is Jessica. I think she is just jealous of my attention and the fact that Edward was the one to save me. I was totally playing it up too. Even going as far as to tell Jess that Edward had kissed me on the forehead after he picked me up off the ground. She called me a lying bitch and walked away. She's the bitch...

Oh and Tyler totally worships the ground I walk on! He feels so guilty for almost killing me and plus I know he thought I was really hot before this. So I have him doing all this stuff for me. He carried all my books and walked me to every class. At lunch all I did was tell him to get me something good and then I sat down. He brought me a tray full of food and waited until I was done to clean up after me. And best of all, I convinced Tyler that I was overwhelmed with schoolwork. He is going to do my science homework for the next few days! Whoot!

I love it! I just hope that when all this starts dying down, I can be in the wrong spot of the parking lot again!

Alright, I gotta go. Cooking for Charlie time. Oh and I need better plans for GEC...


	8. March 2, 2005

3/2/2005 4:15pm

Dear Diary,

Wow its been so long since I've written in this thing! I can't believe I got out of the habit of writing. Well let me just give you the updates...

So Pretty Pale Boy has ignored me for like six weeks! Today was the first day he has spoken two words to me since he saved my freaking life. I had almost given up on him and the GEC plan. I pulled out the last tricks in my bag and went in for the kill. And it worked! Yes! I finally got a couple words out of him so I know he is coming around.

So here's what I did...The spring dance is coming up and it is girls choice. So I decided to make Edward jealous. I firmly believe he is interested in me but something is holding him back. So I had to drag it out of him. I just knew that if he found out I was going to the dance with someone else, he would be so jealous!

I ended up asking Mike, Eric and Tyler to the dance. The only problem was that all of them said no. I mean I'm sure they wanted to go with me, it just turned out that coincidentally they were all going to Seattle that weekend. Ugh! What are the chances?! But it really didn't matter because somehow Edward knew that I had asked them and he seemed really upset!

He finally came up to me and apologized for being rude. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I tried to play it all nonchalant and told him I knew he regretted saving my life. He was starting to get mad so I had to take control of the conversation. I turned around and put on my best clumsy Bella act and tripped over my feet. He came right to my defense! He picked up my books and everything! I love him! He is such a gentleman. I think I am going to act clumsy around him more often...

Alright, I gotta go. Charlie wants enchiladas for dinner tonight.


End file.
